Rogue Pogue

February 13, 2009 § Leave a comment

Ocarinas

Ocarinas

David Pogue’s column in The New York Times yesterday was about an app that turns your iphone into an octarina.**  New apps are being invented by the truckload, but not by me because I have no aptitude. But I do have ideas. Here are a few.

An app that:

*Enables you to give yourself a sonogram with your phone. That way you could see what your fetuses or fibroids were up to whenever you want—in the middle of the night, at parties or during long flight delays.

*Turns phone into a taser. This would have to be a secret app.

*Calculates body fat ratio when you rub it over yourself or someone else.

*Analyzes the pitch and tone of voices and lets you know whenever it detects a lie.

*Refinement of previous app: Tags lies as white, fear-based, guilty or psychopathic.

*Accepts phone calls from the dead. For an extra 99 cents will advise you not to answer.

………………………………………….

** Peculiar musical instrument. When I asked him about it, my musician husband had no idea what it was.

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